Tag Archives: Travel

Why aren’t you posting?

The world might be vicious and treacherous and deadly, but it couldn’t kill laughter. Laughter, like love, has power to survive the worst things life has to offer. And to do it with style. 

Blood Rites By Jim Butcher

I’m a slacker. I know. Not only have I not been posting, but I have not been reading. I barely have the energy to pick up books and read a page. But there are reasons for my absence. Here is why:

1) I FINALLY FINISHED MY THESIS! I turned it in and defended it! Last Thursday! My whole body feels the lightening of the stress. It was as if I had weights dangling off of me, and they turned into birds and flew away. I’M DONE!!

2) My adviser and I had a talk. I decided NOT to continue on with comprehensive exams and dissertation. Meaning, No Dr. Kwon. It was a hard and easy decision at the same time. Hard because I felt like a quitter. By not finishing it, was I saying, “I know I’m not smart enough, so I quit.” Am I failure? But my adviser told me “You are brilliant, but I don’t think you want to do this.” And he was right. I was not motivated to finish. Research was NOT a direction I wanted to go. And hearing someone who is 10 times smarter than me say that I’m smart was a huge ego boost. In the end I realized, I wasn’t quitting, but I was starting something new.

3) Travels, visits, holidays. This is just a busy time of year. Just went to Chicago, sister coming for thanksgiving, and in a few weeks going home for the holidays. There is no break. It’s cleaning, packing, unpacking, cleaning, and the circle goes on.

4) I got off my depression meds. Completely. Bye bye Welbutrin XL! I went cold turkey, too. It has been nearly two weeks, so far I am still sane. No breakdowns, no tears, and no suicidal thoughts. Life is good! I have had no negative triggers lately, so there has been no tests. We’ll see what happens when I run into negative triggers.

5) The husband and I decided we needed more space. We are moving sometime in April of next year. So we are sorting through stuff, getting rid of things, etc. etc. He has been doing most of the work. He’s such a trooper. ❤

There is one major life change I have not mentioned yet. However, it will take a long post just to talk about this one item, so I’ll post about that later. As if finishing your master’s, getting off of depression meds and moving isn’t enough of a life change 😛

As for plans, I hope over the next few weeks I can settle down and read more and review more. I have huge backlog for NetGalley and Edelweiss. They will be a priority for reviews, so my regular reads may or may not get reviews. Sorry for that! But I hope to get back to my creative writing, also.

For a long time, life froze me from moving forward. I was stuck. Now after all that hard work and a few laughs later–I’m finally moving to Act 2!

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Posted by on November 27, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Crazy for Breakfast

“Crazy was what we had for breakfast when we ran out of Corn Flakes.”

Hunt the Moon by Karen Chance

I woke up this morning wondering what crazy thing would happen to derail my whole day, and I laughed…

Sorry I didn’t post much in November. Everything I wanted to get done last month did not happen.

NaNoWriMo was pretty much a bust for me.  I wrote 8500 words, which is nowhere close to 50 thousand. Progress on thesis has been slow in general, but churning out any work has been hard.

I am even behind in my reading and tv shows. I have so many books to read and finish before the end of this year! In order to meet my reading challenge, I have to read 14 books by the end of the month. Which would be easy under normal circumstances, but not lately apparently.

I’m not depressed or sick. I’m just busy! Last month was filled with running around and errands. My husband and I were preparing for his deployment, and tried to spend as much time together as we could before he left. There was also Thanksgiving and a wedding I had to attend back home so that took out about a week or so.

I need to remind myself that life happens. And while it may derail certain activities, it also brings pleasant (sometimes crazy) surprises.

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Posted by on December 3, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Different but the Same

“If we are all alive ten years hence, let’s meet, and see how many of us have got our wishes, or how much nearer we are then than now.” 

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

I promised a long blog about my trip home, the one trip after being absent for two years, so here it is:

Flying into the BWI, I burst into tears when I saw the Baltimore skyline. The wave of emotion that hit me when I saw my HOME was nothing I have felt before. I felt, to some degree, a feeling similar to a deployed soldier coming home or an immigrant returning to their birth country. Sure, it’s only a small fraction of their feelings, but that feeling of coming HOME was reverberating through my every cell in my body. I was sad for being gone for so long, happy to see the place, upset that El Paso does not have what this place does. And there was an overall sense of awe that has no adjective that can cover that feeling of coming HOME.

Although some things were different, I felt the familiarity.

Take for instance that while I was driving on 29, there is all of a sudden a new exit, that happens to be a toll road, and a spaghetti bridge intersection out of nowhere. The ICC was built and opened at some point! That was only talk when I was there, not thinking it was going to be built. . . ever really. But there it was, in all of it’s fancy glory. It was altogether different yet a normal part of everyone’s lives already.

Even what was the same felt different at first. Taking exits and roads that I used to take, I felt, disconnected somehow. Although intellectually I recognized everything, I didn’t feel as if I were a part of it. But that changed by the end of the trip. I felt myself falling into the same patterns of driving from before, and I was comfortable in a way I haven’t been in Texas or Chicago. Things were different but felt the same.

The people were amazing. It was awesome seeing friends from different parts of my life: childhood, college, work, and even met an online friend in person for the first time! It’s fascinating how so many of us have changed, got married, had kids, bought a house. Yet when we get together with our old crowd, we revert to the giggling high school girls we once were. Not in a bad, awkward way, but in a “those were the days” way. We may be wearing stethoscope and changing diapers, but we are still the people with pig tails and fairy tales. Things were different, but still the same.

I moved away from Maryland 6 years ago, and I left with some preconceived notions. Like that people in D.C. are rude. But being back in D.C. for a week (after living in Chicago, AL, and Texas), I found that people are not just polite, but I fit in with them seamlessly. I used to think people drove crazy at home. But after seeing the drivers down here, who drive like they don’t care about their lives, people in Maryland drive smoothly and effectively.

So there are changes. It’s been awhile, 6 years since I lived there, 2 years since I’ve been back, it’s to be expected. What surprised me was how the same it still was and how I still fit seamlessly into the culture. No matter where I go, Maryland will always be the place where I grew up and made wishes for the future.

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Posted by on July 19, 2012 in Uncategorized


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